Well, aren't I just the veritable Marty Mc Fly, leaping through time from 2009 to 2016, pulling up in my  DeLorean-like-blog and flinging the door open to amazement and wonder.

So whats changed?

The good stuff:

• I'm now married with 2 amazing kids and equally amazing wife, living in suburban Surrey
• Having forged a career in retail, I have a great job managing 3 teams working for a well known UK fashion label
• Having had 2 dickhead bosses prior to great job, my current boss is refreshingly not a dick head
• I can drive and I love it

The not so good stuff:

• Dad passed away last year after fighting a lengthy battle against prostate cancer
• We've also since lost Michael Jackson, Prince, Nelson Mandela and David Bowie
• The world continued to turn to shit following the completion of 2 pointless wars and lighting the fire for an extremeist driven 3rd
• We (the UK) are about to leave Europe

Much of the above was unthinkable the last time the door to my time travelling blog opened, alas here we are taking the good with the bad, minus the incredibly amazing.

My family is my life and how overwhelmingly amazing an experience it truly is. Each day is different with kids in the house, some of them frightening, most of them joyous and every kind between and not a single one would I have lived without.

That's right, even the ones blessed with never ending torrents of sick and poo, leaving a pair of bedraggled parents in their wake. 

Such experiences become more prevalent over time, catalysed by the mostly un-expected adversities thrown at us by life. For me personally, none more so than the death of my Father and everything that entailed.

Such experiences carry weight enough to change a person for life, even after a year in passing. I have yet to completely the complexities of loss emotionally and thought that perhaps this was a good outlet to do so, outside of the practical demands that death brings about, forced by reality. A subject like that demands it's own dedicated space and besides, I wouldn't know where to start. The latter uncertainty an indication that death and I make strange bed-fellows I guess, that's all I have to say about that for now.

Fruit of the loins.

The gravity of creation is in itself eclipsed only, by the ever changing experience that ensues the birth of legacy.

The above probably insists on itself a bit, but that's exactly what kids do. In their tiny universe they are the gargantuan Sun, orbiting the smaller moons and plants they know as thier parents or siblings.
It's always interesting to describe something experienced the world over and yet some of us are still compelled to do it for a myriad of different reasons. For me personally it's a time capsule to be dug up and found in years to come. I've had great fun tracing and finding other stuff i'd written on the net, warbling on about the  thoughts that were precious to me then, I

The change is overnight, but the understanding of underlying complexities of what it really means to be a parent is in itself very gradual. Shock, joy, disbelief and fear have always been natural paths to acceptance and ultimately this is no different. 

The true realisation that there is no going back, that this is for life.

I pour over this a little, as permanence has little outing in modern society anymore. Most of our encounters of big change are fairly ephemeral; a house, a car, a job, all things expect to take temporary possession of and change at some point.

You could even go as far as to say that parenthood is a paradox of modern life as a result of it's permanency, and yet, it has and continues to underpin the very fabric of life itself.

It's the ever-maturing understanding and appreciation of it's many facets that keeps us in wonder and awake at night. It's one that can not be forced or rushed, downloaded, streamed or upgraded.

It simply grows with you and your child, effortlessly embracing and ever comforting.